In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

posted 3 hours ago with 32,371 notes
via:shaniatween source:tokomon

girlmeetsworldfanblog:

WIll Friedle and William Daniels.

Photo credit: jsher88888

posted 4 hours ago with 91 notes
via:doublelinthemorning source:girlmeetsworldfanblog

saddeer:

zkac:

what’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE

i hate this i hate u 

posted 4 hours ago with 48,243 notes
via:doublelinthemorning source:zkac

AHH i just watched the trailer for obvious child it looks so good when can i see it

posted 5 hours ago with 0 notes

efforts made by the pete holmes show to make him look goofy and non-sexual in bed have proved ineffective because the fact remains that that is an image of pete in bed and i’m aroused

posted 5 hours ago with 3 notes

now i take a pill for no rabies and a pill for no babies

riffinbits:

or fucking baaaabe

posted 6 hours ago with 40 notes
via:riffinbits source:riffinbits

(Source: liz-comstock)

posted 6 hours ago with 319,979 notes
via:whoiscurlyfry source:liz-comstock

i hope that in a thousand years no matter what has changed in technology and schooling teachers are still using shitty clip art pictures in their presentations

theanti90smovement:

as you can see by the amount of bumper stickers on my car i am PISSED off at the government

posted 6 hours ago with 6,613 notes
via:princessest source:theanti90smovement

riffinbits:

6’6” man interacts with grapefruit-sized dog

posted 7 hours ago with 69 notes
via:canadiangardengnome source:riffinbits

tylerross:

The Champs.
Moshe Kasher & Neal Brennan
#atrossityphotography #la

Follow me on Instagram @tylerossity
posted 7 hours ago with 23 notes
via:canadiangardengnome source:tylerross

ashhole3117:

mooselordpadalecki:

50 of my favorite people in no particular order:
Jimmy Fallon

No there’s a particular order and he’s number 1

posted 7 hours ago with 39 notes
via:tarynkillam source:mooselordpadalecki

top5funniest:

Jenny Slate Stars in ‘Obvious Child’ Trailer

posted 7 hours ago with 200 notes
via:popculturebrain source:top5funniest
#storey watch this

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

posted 8 hours ago with 170,831 notes
via:omygodemily source:meladoodle
districtcapaldi